Happy Birthday Grandma

Wow, what a weekend! I spent the weekend with my grandma for her 90th birthday. She would not let me bake her a cake! We did however go out to eat and she had a steak and a beer, she can be such a hoot sometimes! The sad thing is that her Alzheimers has started to take her away from us. She often forgets the names of things, like people and food, and stuff, she lashes out us, and its as if we are strangers to us. She yelled at my son, which was so sad. Luckily he was not upset and just left the room. Perhaps at the tender age of four he just "knows." I had fun taking her to store and thrifting, and she asked me many times why I did not just stay there with her. I just can't I told her. She is constantly accusing my mom(her caretaker) of taking her things and stealing money from her, when in fact my mom has done no such thing. Its hurtful and makes my mom really angry and sad all at once. I know if I were in fact her caretaker it would be me that she chose to lash out at.
The saddest news of all is that today, my mom is having her admitted to a facilty that specializes with alzheimers. The doctors have diagnosed her with a stage 3 with the disease. She can no longer stay at home alone while my parents are at work. She is legally blind now also, but she refuses to admit it, she insists on trying to cook, and burns things often. It is just a sad thing, and I am torn. I wish to god I could take care of her, but I also have a commitment to my own family. She begged me not to leave her "with that woman." ( my mom) I left in a hurry so she could not see me cry. I told her I loved her and would see her soon. I am so grateful that my son has gotten to at least know her, I hope he remembers he as the fiesty old woman that she once was. Now I just wait for the call from my mother to let me know that things have gone smoothly and she has been placed. I know she is going to be angry and resentful, and I anticipate a call from her, asking me to pick her up. But I know I can't do that. I just can't.
Here are the few pictures from this weekend that she let me take of her.


Farewell great woman, I will visit your stranger soon.